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[On the evening of February 13, a white envelope is slipped beneath the front door of Rei's apartment unit. On the front is cursively written To Rei Ayanami in black ink. Inside is a small piece of off-white card paper, and a thin bar of mint chocolate wrapped in foil.
The card has the following handwritten, unsigned message:]
Rei,
I'm glad you've come here.
It is my hope that we can come to enjoy one another's company.
Please accept this gift as an expression of that desire.
Happy Valentine's Day
The card has the following handwritten, unsigned message:]
Rei,
I'm glad you've come here.
It is my hope that we can come to enjoy one another's company.
Please accept this gift as an expression of that desire.
Happy Valentine's Day
[ Confusion. A strange and fleeting warmth at the words, but mostly confusion. Upon reading a second time, there's the notion that they might fit a certain person's behavior, but the customs of others on days like these were always intangible to her.
Right now, she simply sets the paper aside on her nightstand along with the chocolate. She's never tried it before and has no present need for food. ]
Right now, she simply sets the paper aside on her nightstand along with the chocolate. She's never tried it before and has no present need for food. ]
...and, maybe, for selfish reasons.
But you want to talk, too. Don't you?
But you want to talk, too. Don't you?
[It switches to a video feed. Wherever Kaworu is, it's dark, and there's the sound of rain drizzling in the background. When he sees that it's on, he looks into the lens and offers a smile. Not one of his warm, genuine smiles... a more distant, mild, untraceable smile.]
How shall I refer to you? Ayanami-san? You can just call me Kaworu, if you like.
How shall I refer to you? Ayanami-san? You can just call me Kaworu, if you like.
[a reaction he expected. With the same smile, he bows his head and moves away from the camera a bit, as if sitting back.]
You don't believe that I do?
You don't believe that I do?
I know of many things that were never told to any of the pilots at NERV. Things it may be best for you to never know, if you desired.
[he admits it just as simply.]
I understand your reluctance. I'm an angel, I'm suspicious.
[he admits it just as simply.]
I understand your reluctance. I'm an angel, I'm suspicious.
[Well, he's not sure about that. He's certainly harmed without wishing to do so. The thought makes him pause, but he tries to just continue on.]
The question is, would you rather know and risk the despair, or stay as you are?
The question is, would you rather know and risk the despair, or stay as you are?
I would like to tell you all of it.
[He stares into the camera. Something about watching her, listening to her talk, is so strange. In a good way.]
I have my connection to my children, but... at the same time, I am different. I appear as a Lilim and lived under Lilim. My experience is more like yours, not theirs. And, my body is like yours. You're like me.
[He stares into the camera. Something about watching her, listening to her talk, is so strange. In a good way.]
I have my connection to my children, but... at the same time, I am different. I appear as a Lilim and lived under Lilim. My experience is more like yours, not theirs. And, my body is like yours. You're like me.
... Because you no longer want to be alone in those experiences.
[ Loneliness. Another piece of knowledge she may have forever avoided back then, if given the chance, and yet-- did her own heart not desire its end whether or not she learned its name? ]
All Angels were terminated, however.
[ He refers to more than this, she knows, as if a memory on the edge of consciousness, a stinging push of dread that contradicts itself and pulls. The barest tension responds in her shoulders. ]
[ Loneliness. Another piece of knowledge she may have forever avoided back then, if given the chance, and yet-- did her own heart not desire its end whether or not she learned its name? ]
All Angels were terminated, however.
[ He refers to more than this, she knows, as if a memory on the edge of consciousness, a stinging push of dread that contradicts itself and pulls. The barest tension responds in her shoulders. ]
Yes. Loneliness does not wound my heart the way it does a Lilim's. But, nevertheless, if given the chance, I would rather not be alone in them.
[there is another pause. He's hesitant to say more - what he'd like to say. It may alienate her despite their similarities.]
But it's not because the other Angels are gone. We possess the Fruit of Life and will live forever. Even as they died, they didn't leave me.
[Being in this place, on the other hand... they were gone. Did that loneliness hurt him? Maybe. But still not the loneliness she would have had in mind.]
[there is another pause. He's hesitant to say more - what he'd like to say. It may alienate her despite their similarities.]
But it's not because the other Angels are gone. We possess the Fruit of Life and will live forever. Even as they died, they didn't leave me.
[Being in this place, on the other hand... they were gone. Did that loneliness hurt him? Maybe. But still not the loneliness she would have had in mind.]
To live forever...
[ This fate had been hers, but not hers. Only name and face linking each new self, a replacement, another thing called Rei Ayanami. It is--
It is the way of things. ]
And man possessed everything you lacked.
[ The impulse to learn and create, then, in light of their mortality. Two halves of a whole, magnetic poles she stands precariously between or beside. ]
[ This fate had been hers, but not hers. Only name and face linking each new self, a replacement, another thing called Rei Ayanami. It is--
It is the way of things. ]
And man possessed everything you lacked.
[ The impulse to learn and create, then, in light of their mortality. Two halves of a whole, magnetic poles she stands precariously between or beside. ]
Yes, the Fruit of Knowledge. The origin of all of humankind's accomplishments, but also the force that causes them so much despair. The hope of man is written in their own sorrow.
[his voice softens again as he talks about this. He came to care for them. Seele expected him to wipe the planet clean, but they couldn't take away his independent mind.]
I mentioned it to you earlier, but I love them for that sorrow. I didn't want to destroy creatures so submerged in misery, but so continuously struggling towards the surface. Destroy them, for what? Out of principle, because they should not technically be here? No.
[his voice softens again as he talks about this. He came to care for them. Seele expected him to wipe the planet clean, but they couldn't take away his independent mind.]
I mentioned it to you earlier, but I love them for that sorrow. I didn't want to destroy creatures so submerged in misery, but so continuously struggling towards the surface. Destroy them, for what? Out of principle, because they should not technically be here? No.
[The sudden swerve in the conversation catches him off guard, and it takes a moment to realize she's bringing up what he told her about Shinji. It's a tender topic right now, after what happened last week. Just the recollection stirs the miasma in his core, sending feelings he still can't name into a brief flurry.
He looks away from her, but his voice is still soft like before.]
There is no love without vulnerability. Pain is unavoidable.
He looks away from her, but his voice is still soft like before.]
There is no love without vulnerability. Pain is unavoidable.
You were aware, without understanding.
[ And there is the possibility that has changed for him. In a way, she finds herself testing this, though deep inside she knows him not to be fully incorrect. Still, something nameless and protective stirs. None of her words sound accusatory, as usual. What has been said of him could so easily be said of her. (Again.) ]
[ And there is the possibility that has changed for him. In a way, she finds herself testing this, though deep inside she knows him not to be fully incorrect. Still, something nameless and protective stirs. None of her words sound accusatory, as usual. What has been said of him could so easily be said of her. (Again.) ]
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