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I was. I am.
[Kaworu doesn't pretend he understands it completely yet. It's all very new to him - invigorating in how strange and foreign these things are. Confusing. Shinji's pained expression charms him, sends him feeling dizzy and enamored, and makes him feel "guilty" all at once.
This conversation is making him think of when he spoke to the last Rei. That Rei seems quite different from this one, "his" Rei. But how different...?]
And what about yourself, Rei Ayanami?
[Kaworu doesn't pretend he understands it completely yet. It's all very new to him - invigorating in how strange and foreign these things are. Confusing. Shinji's pained expression charms him, sends him feeling dizzy and enamored, and makes him feel "guilty" all at once.
This conversation is making him think of when he spoke to the last Rei. That Rei seems quite different from this one, "his" Rei. But how different...?]
And what about yourself, Rei Ayanami?
... It is difficult to define.
[ There's more she could tell, as there so often is, but the words would be her attempt at a foreign tongue she has only ever heard. Even if what roils inside her heart had not been laid open so recently before her death, so easily, unprepared to be witnessed by one who is not quite a stranger. ]
[ There's more she could tell, as there so often is, but the words would be her attempt at a foreign tongue she has only ever heard. Even if what roils inside her heart had not been laid open so recently before her death, so easily, unprepared to be witnessed by one who is not quite a stranger. ]
Edited 2013-02-28 03:01 (UTC)
[It was difficult for himself, too. And recently, it is again. But Kaworu has his own suspicions with regards to Rei. He knew what actions she had taken... and he'd listened to her devotion to her promise to Shinji.
He looks back into the camera with a gentle, inviting look in his eyes. It hides his prying fascination with her.]
Do you love Shinji-kun, too?
He looks back into the camera with a gentle, inviting look in his eyes. It hides his prying fascination with her.]
Do you love Shinji-kun, too?
[ She isn't precisely sure why her head slowly begins to lower. Why her heart rate increases, slightly, is just as much a mystery. Illness? Not possible. Somehow, her medicine exists here, and any memory of becoming sick remains blank. This sensation in itself, however, she does remember. She can compare it to those past images of Ikari's kindness, the subsequent reactions beyond her control. Are these what she still should be feeling? ]
He is... warm.
He is... warm.
[Maybe that's a yes. He grins widely, clearly pleased by that answer.]
He makes you feel warm. You want to protect him, and keep him from being hurt.
[This is perhaps the heart of what may keep them apart from one another. Should he tell her what happened? Back then? And even now, too? Kaworu knows he's still causing Shinji anguish, as much as his own heart has ached sweetly from it.]
What will you do about me?
He makes you feel warm. You want to protect him, and keep him from being hurt.
[This is perhaps the heart of what may keep them apart from one another. Should he tell her what happened? Back then? And even now, too? Kaworu knows he's still causing Shinji anguish, as much as his own heart has ached sweetly from it.]
What will you do about me?
Yes.
[ Does she, then? Whether or not it pleases him, this is what cannot change. This, she realizes, must be another part of who she is, no matter what it may be called. A beat, and her eyes return to the camera. ]
I must remain vigilant.
[ If Ikari should need her. If the Fifth defies her expectations and poses a dangerous threat to him, or to others he cares for. The prospects of failure, while many, aren't considered. ]
[ Does she, then? Whether or not it pleases him, this is what cannot change. This, she realizes, must be another part of who she is, no matter what it may be called. A beat, and her eyes return to the camera. ]
I must remain vigilant.
[ If Ikari should need her. If the Fifth defies her expectations and poses a dangerous threat to him, or to others he cares for. The prospects of failure, while many, aren't considered. ]
I have significantly less destructive capabilities here.
[There are no Evas and no Lilith. Sure, he could probably break all the tablets and destroy the transport network if he really wanted to, but that simply won't happen. The most he could see himself doing is keeping another person's hands from harming him - which is mostly the only thing he's used his AT Field for for years now.]
If you are wary of me, it's only because I could hurt Shinji the same way anyone else could.
[There are no Evas and no Lilith. Sure, he could probably break all the tablets and destroy the transport network if he really wanted to, but that simply won't happen. The most he could see himself doing is keeping another person's hands from harming him - which is mostly the only thing he's used his AT Field for for years now.]
If you are wary of me, it's only because I could hurt Shinji the same way anyone else could.
...Indeed, although I hurt him, I hardly think I am the cruelest force in his life right now.
[Kaworu is quite confident she'll have an idea who he's referring to. He had to wonder, how did Rei feel about her? Surely this could be another similarity.]
[Kaworu is quite confident she'll have an idea who he's referring to. He had to wonder, how did Rei feel about her? Surely this could be another similarity.]
Perhaps.
[ On both counts, although she's returned to even more cryptic answers. The Second's activities haven't escaped her, either, for as much as the tablet would reveal of them. The predictable anger of a closed heart. Red. A warning signal to those who would rather avoid. Despite his intentions, the Fifth is not so transparent. However, she lets the point stand. ]
[ On both counts, although she's returned to even more cryptic answers. The Second's activities haven't escaped her, either, for as much as the tablet would reveal of them. The predictable anger of a closed heart. Red. A warning signal to those who would rather avoid. Despite his intentions, the Fifth is not so transparent. However, she lets the point stand. ]
If we both love Shinji-kun and want to protect him, then there's no need for us to be at odds.
[He knows she is not antagonistic or completely untrusting of him now, but he wants to emphasize that to her again. They have a similar goal, now that they are here in this place. To shelter the person important to them.]
But, for the same reasons, I will not reveal to you anything you do not wish to know. [as much as he wants to.] I have been allowed to speak, and I thank you for that much.
Still... if you ever desire to know who you really are, just let me know, Rei Ayanami.
[He knows she is not antagonistic or completely untrusting of him now, but he wants to emphasize that to her again. They have a similar goal, now that they are here in this place. To shelter the person important to them.]
But, for the same reasons, I will not reveal to you anything you do not wish to know. [as much as he wants to.] I have been allowed to speak, and I thank you for that much.
Still... if you ever desire to know who you really are, just let me know, Rei Ayanami.
I'm glad to hear that.
I'm a little sick. But I think I'll be okay.
I'm a little sick. But I think I'll be okay.
I'm planning to.
Thank you. If anything comes up, I'll let you know Ayanami.
Thank you. If anything comes up, I'll let you know Ayanami.
Ayanami, I am leaving for a while. I cannot stand by and watch this anymore.
Please take care of Shinji-kun and Asuka while I am gone.
Please take care of Shinji-kun and Asuka while I am gone.
If Its Not Of Particularly Drastic Inconvenience To You Miss Ayanami I Have A Request
Which You Are Of Course Free To Refuse Or Make Any Request Of Your Own Before Complying
Though Before Making The Request Itself I Should Probably Make Some Foundational Inquiries
Those Being First That You Are The Colleague Of Shinji Ikari And Asuka Soryu
And Second That The World Serving As Common Origin To All Three Of You Underwent A Cataclysm Of Comparable Scale To The World of Elmer See Albatross On May Twenty-First
Am I Correct On Both Of These Counts
Which You Are Of Course Free To Refuse Or Make Any Request Of Your Own Before Complying
Though Before Making The Request Itself I Should Probably Make Some Foundational Inquiries
Those Being First That You Are The Colleague Of Shinji Ikari And Asuka Soryu
And Second That The World Serving As Common Origin To All Three Of You Underwent A Cataclysm Of Comparable Scale To The World of Elmer See Albatross On May Twenty-First
Am I Correct On Both Of These Counts
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